Telling yourself that you’re going to write and publish something every day means you get a greater and greater sense of dread the later you go in the day without writing anything. When 10:45 PM rolls around and you haven’t sat down to make words appear on the screen (even though you’ve had ample time the rest of the day) it can be only a small leap to say to yourself, “Eh, it’s too late now. I’ll make up for it tomorrow.” It’s only logical, right? I mean, it is too late. This is not particularly good writing.
I should be curled up in bed and well on my way to sleepy town by now.
Writing an article about how you don’t want to write an article because it’s too late and you’re too tired is like sophomore year of high school stuff. Truly amateur. Like, if I turned this in to Mr. Spurlin (me back when I was a teacher — not my dad) I probably would’ve scrawled “You know you’re better than this,” across the top in red marker.
But, hey, show up and do the thing if you say you’re going to do it, right?
And even though the subject matter and syntax and flow of this article will inevitably make me wince when I wake up in the morning and give it a re-read, I know that actually sitting down (now, 10:50 PM and nearly an *hour* after my brain is used to doing anything cognitive whatsoever) is actually one of the most professional things I could do. Not professional as in, “Wow, you’re such a pro,” but professional as in, “You said you’d do the thing and you did the thing even though it would’ve been really easy to not do the thing.”
I want to be a great writer. I want writing to be a large part of my professional identity. And a hastily written yet honest article tapped out with the dregs of my remaining physical energy and wakeful consciousness for the day is me taking one infinitesimal step in that direction. One more push against the Resistance. One more link in the chain. One more tiny piece of that will hopefully, one day, comprise a beautiful jigsaw puzzle called “Sam Spurlin is a good writer.”
Although, the next time I find myself staring at a blank screen and a lack of published article when all I want to do is go to sleep I’m not going to be able to write an article about needing to write an article. I just burned that credit.
If you got this far then you already know I try to write and publish something every day in 30 minutes or less. This one took 15 minutes and now it’s time for bed. Want to connect? Twitter is best.